(The following conversation was held at my house earlier this week as my husband and boys were playing in the snow)
Husband (to me as I stood watching them from inside): I thought you always said you love snow.
Self: I do love snow!
Self (thinking, not saying): Or do I really just love an excuse to stay in my jammies and drink hot cocoa?
This conversation has had me doing a lot of thinking about the things we proclaim about ourselves.
I grew up in Iowa. Snow (whether in reality, at least in my memory) was more constant than not from Thanksgiving through March. Snow on Halloween was not unknown. And snow sometimes happened in April.
Throughout my adult life I've lived farther south and although I've found things to appreciate about a more temperate climate, I miss snow. I miss knowing I can count on snow. I even miss snow that's around so long that you want it to go away if for no other reason than it is so gray and ugly it's an eyesore.
These are the things I've known about my relationship with snow. And yet my husband was confused. I say I love snow. But I wasn't the first out in it. Did I really love snow?
Of course my thoughts this week have been about far more than snow. I just keep wondering how much of what we think about ourselves is really true...still true? And how much of it is what we learned about ourselves some years ago and just haven't reexamined?
I have had the blessing of being around people over 100 years old who have believed that they still had things to learn, room to grow as long as they had life left in them. And they didn't just mean memorizing facts or learning new skills. Instead, they also knew that they could continue learning about themselves.
I believe God intends us to be on this continuous journey of discovery. I believe God wants us to continue to discover our truest selves - the selves God created us to be. I also believe that God wants us to examine and reexamine and recognize that things that were once true may not always be true. Likewise, things that weren't previously true may become true for us.
This morning we worshipped at a church my friend serves. He was talking about Jesus' frequent command not to tell. He talked about the importance of timing. The command from Jesus wasn't about never telling, but it was about waiting until time was ripe. It was about paying attention to what was right at that time.
Perhaps this isn't so disconnected from the questions I've been asking this week. Perhaps we are to pay attention to the time, to ask what it is right for. Perhaps there are things we have always proclaimed that just aren't true for us anymore. And perhaps there are things we've been ready to disgard, to change, but when we truly examine life that change isn't necessary at all.
Perhaps we are invited to live with authenticity to who God created us to be and to live fully for this moment.
And, by the way, I do love snow!