What Is God Like?

Today I spent the day with children.  This year instead of doing a week of Vacation Bible School in which we meet every day, we chose to do "Terrific Tuesdays" where we spend one day of each week together.  We've learned skills and practiced our care for others and the world while addressing important needs around us.  Today's emphasis was on literacy. 

During the course of this day we read one of my favorite children's books.  The book by Sandy Eisenberg Sasso is titled In God's Name.  If you haven't read it, I'd suggest you find it.  It's really a lovely book. 

The storyline basically says this...once people who knew each other's names and names for every other living thing were searching for God's name.  So, they started finding names for God, each finding a name they could connect with (the farmer - Source of Life, the tired warrior - Peacemaker, and so on).  However, as they all discovered names they fought over whose name was the best.  Finally, in a moment of clarity they came to realize that it was when they lifted all the names together that they discovered who God was.

By the way: You still need to read the book...it's much more well written than my brief synopsis and the illustrations are lovely. 

Whenever I read this book I am reminded of the fullness of who God is.  We can't help but relate more closely to one name or picture of God.  And it's okay to have our favorite way of understanding God...okay, unless that gets in the way of acknowledging that our favorite way isn't the only way.

I remember as a college student learning about the use of inclusive language for God - in other words, using non-gendered or multi-gendered language (particularly broadening our scope from the limitation of Father and male gendered-only language).  One of the most common defenses I heard in those early days was that there were many people who had been harmed or disappointed by their earthly fathers and that using such language for God was problematic for some of them.  While wanting to sensitive to the realities some people had lived through (although perhaps not as sensitive as I thought I was being), my first reaction to this was that perhaps, rather than taking away certain language, the church needed to be addressing parenting skills, family systems, and helping people find healing.  In other words, I wasn't first convinced about the use of inclusive language. 

And the reality is that I became convinced of the importance of inclusive language for God the day it was put in a different context...the context of fidelity to God. 

The reality is that scripture gives us many images of God - from father to mother, rock to shepherd, creator to spirit.  And what that means is that although we can each have our most comfortable image, our "go-to" name for God...in order to be faithful to God, we must understand that God is always more, always fuller than we can see.

I wonder how this process would have been different for me had I read Sandy Eisenberg Sasso's book at five years old or ten years old. 

I wonder how my children's understanding of God will be different because they will grow up knowing that God is many things, many names, many ways. 

I wonder how many people would be more deeply connected to God if other "good people of faith" weren't so worried about having to prove that their name or understanding of God is the best. 

And I wonder - if we were able to see the fullness of God - how that would also translate into our ability to affirm the many different facets of ourselves and other people we meet.

What's Not in the News

               The last couple of weeks have been filled with news around questions of sexuality.  Exodus International made an announcement with Alan Chambers issuing an apology.  The Supreme Court overturned DOMA and with that act opened doors to extend rights to same sex partners.  For those advocating for gay rights, these have been welcome pieces of news.  And I am one of those who has been paying attention to what is going on out there.

 

               But there is also something going on right here.

 

               This past Sunday in my little congregation worshipping at the buckle of the Bible belt, I had the joy of sharing our congregation's new welcome statement.  And this is what it says:

 

We are a church that believes in welcoming all people

into a journey of faith where we share questions, discoveries and conversation.

 

This means you are welcome regardless of…

your gender

your age

your economic status

           your political association

your sexual orientation

your skin color

your faith background

your health

your ability

your mood

your cultural heritage

your relationship status.

 

 Whether you think you have all of the answers

or none of the answers…

whether you are certain that God calls us

into a diverse and

inclusive faith community or are still wondering…

if you are willing to come to the table and welcome others as they welcome you,

if you are willing to continue to seek and grow in faith and understanding,

if you are willing to celebrate the common bond we have in Christ

regardless of our differences…

then you are welcome.

 

The news items are real and they are important.  But what is also important is that there are real people facing and talking about their real questions and discoveries.  What is important is that there are communities that are embracing people, sometimes (as is true for some of our members) even in the midst of their questions and uncertainties...but embracing people and engaging the conversation.  What is important is that in a small congregation, in a primarily conservative Christian town, two women and their daughter walked forward at the invitation on Sunday and joined the church as a family. 

 

This wasn't in your news, but it's a headline in my life.

Smiling Over My Breakfast

I am a creature of habit.  In the mornings this means that I scoop out a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios, pour milk over it, and enjoy.  I haven't spent much time thinking about my Cheerios...I just like their flavor.

However today I am smiling at my Cheerios.  I am smiling because I am proud of this company for taking what was apparently a risky stand in their commercial casting. 

Funny thing is that I saw the commercial and didn't realize it was a risk-taking venture.  Instead, I simply saw a cute child with loving parents.  But apparently there has been negative reaction to the fact that it reflects a mixed race family.  (Humorously enough, I had to hear the negativity second hand and read about it through the media, which apparently reflects something about the people I spend time with).

This is another reminder to me about how far we have to go.  This is about racism and racial perceptions.  This is also about our learning to give permission for people to love who they love.

As I watch my children grow up, one of the dreams I have for them is that they will share their life in good relationships.  I hope for them healthy and life-giving friendships.  If they seek a partner, I hope for them loving and respectful relationships. 

And I hope that a decade from now as they are verging on adulthood that I don't have to worry about reactions from those around them if they happen to love someone of a different race, of the same gender, or who in other ways breaks past stereotypes for partnering.

I remain confused when people spend so much time and energy evaluating relationships on these criteria.  There are so many couples of the same race whose relationships are damaging.  There are so many heterosexual couples who show anything but love and respect to each other.  And yet,  there still is an available assumption that same race, heterosexual partnerships are always best, are always okay.

My dream is that my children and all people will soon live in a world where they are encouraged to find partners with whom they can make the world a better place, to whom they can show love, with whom they can grow more fully into the people God created them to be. 

This is long overdue.

What Is Left When YOU Leave?

This weekend I had the privilege of traveling with our youth group to St. Louis for a Mission Weekend.  This morning as we were cleaning up our weekend living quarters I remembered a lesson my mother had taught me when I first started babysitting:

Leave a place better than how you found it.

 

Of course, when she taught me that nearly three decades ago she was meaning such things as - if you feed the children, wash their dishes (and if there are other dirty dishes do those, too) and make sure toys are put away and tidy things up before the parents come home.

 

This morning as I was vacuuming (a floor that had needed some attention when we arrived) I was glad to leave the place in better shape than we found it and I was thinking ahead, wondering who would stay there next.

 

Then it occured to me that my mom's babysitting lesson is about far more than dishes, toys, or tidy floors. 

 

What if, wherever we went, we chose to leave it better than it was when we arrived?

 

What if we took that attitude with us to our workplace, the grocery store, the neighborhood park, our children's schools, our churches?  What would that mean?

 

Might we smile at a grumpy fellow shopper?

 

Might we pick up trash rather than curse the neighbors who left it?

 

Might we help a co-worker with a project even if weren't going to get credit?

 

What would our homes and families look like if this was our intention?

 

What would the world look like if we all decided to leave it better than it was when we arrived?

Red Headed, Red Bellied...What's the Difference?

My seven-year-old has become a bird watcher of sorts.  He has bird books, researches birds, and spends as much time as we'll let him outside watching the birds.  Bird watcher, right?  And he's at the point now where he rarely sees a bird he doesn't know. 

His momma on the other hand, not so much!  Consider the conversation below Exhibit A:

(Momma looks out back and sees a woodpecker)

Cameron, look, there's a Red-headed Woodpecker back here.

 

(Child excitedly comes to the window) Where?

 (pause)  Oh, that's a Red-bellied Woodpecker, Mom.  The Red-headed ones have a totally red head. 

(walks away)  I already saw a Red-bellied Woodpecker today.

(Has a moment of sensitivity)  But it was nice to see a second one.  Thanks, Mom.

This momma now knows more than she did before! 

Ash Wednesday and Shame

Yesterday was Ash Wednesday and we had worship at church last night.  During one part of the worship service each of us had a small piece of paper.  We were to write a sin that we are wanting to address on one side and on the other side we were to write a commitment we are willing to make regarding how we will address it. 

After giving the instructions for this activity, while people were reflecting and writing, I moved down to a pew near my children.  The four-year-old came over to me and asked what he was supposed to do.  I explained that he was to write or draw a bad choice that he had recently been making and then on the other side to write or draw what the better choice would be (I figured this was the best way to quickly explain it).

Before I tell you what happened next, let me fill you in on something that's been happening at our house.  The four-year-old has been making bad choices at school.  This child, who is the apple of his teacher's eye, is stressing her out.  Where he used to correct other children who made bad choices, this week he was caught encouraging other children to make bad choices.  While his teacher used to just be able to look at him or call his name and have him correct his own behavior, lately he has just looked her in the eye and continued on with the wrong behavior.  So, we've been having some conversations in our house about the importance of making good choices.

After I explained the task, the four-year-old did not want to participate.  So, I told him I would write for him.  When he didn't say what he wanted me to write, I said, "How about we put 'Not listening to my teacher' on the bad choice side and 'Listen to my teacher' on the other side."  As I suggested this, I also wrote those words.  When I was done, I went to hand the paper back to him but he wanted nothing to do with it.  In fact, as we moved to the next thing in the service, which entailed people bringing their papers forward and nailing them to a cross, he lay quietly but passionately on the front pew kicking and pushing everything away. 

And I knew he was ashamed. 

This is my child who does not like to talk about his bad choices.  He doesn't even make eye contact in those conversations.  He just doesn't even want to acknowledge what he did and certainly doesn't want someone else to either.

My heart broke as I watched him.  As a mother I want to create a safe place for my children - no matter what is going on, no matter what they have done, no matter what we need to talk about.  Although I know some use it as a parenting tactic, my goal is never to shame my children into submission or correct behavior.  As a parent who is a person of faith I understand that I do what I do because it is what I experience from God.  I understand God to be one who offers us safe space, one to whom we can come with our ugliest stuff and be received in love. 

This season of Lent that we have entered is not an easy season because it asks us to be honest about our stuff...especially that stuff we don't want to talk about.  I know it's not easy, but I also believe this is so important. 

Watching the four-year-old on the front pew made me aware again of how important it is that we create safe spaces in families, in churches, in all sorts of communities...and that we keep offering safe space even through the many occasions when it can't be accepted. 

In the end, after everyone else was done, the four-year-old decided he wanted me to go with him and we did nail his paper to the cross.  Maybe that's a step in finding his way to the space that is here for him.

Jesus: As Played by Green Blankie

This picture may just look like a little boy cuddling with his carefully placed blankies, but it's so much more than that.

Tonight my husband and I had a date night (so thankful for our babysitter!).  We came home shortly after bedtime and imagine this...the four-year-old was still awake.  He came out to greet us and then led me back to his room to see his bed which he had made.  After great excitement on my part, I tucked him in and returned to the living room.

A few minutes later he reappeared.  I was ready to scold him and send him quickly back to his room when he said, "Mommy, you have to come see.  I rolled my green blankie... (dramatic pause)... and it's just like baby Jesus."

Guess who headed down the hall with the four-year-old because yes, I had to see.

"See, Mommy, the green blankie is Jesus and the blue one over him is his blankie."

After tucking him back in, I walked out of his room wondering if he was a child of deep faith or just a really good salesman who knows his audience!